It was World Mental Health Day last Monday where everyone pretends to understand and support people with illnesses and then promptly goes onto support World Chipolata & Chips Appreciation Day the next day and forget that mental health exists again. Ok ok, I’m joking. Kind of.

I am such a joy at the moment, a big bag of humour and sarcasm and cynical witicism. I’m the kinda gal that cries over burnt broccoli at the moment. I neeeed my mood injection. It was meant to be last Friday but the Nurse phucked up and got the date wrong. I was so excited to get my injection and I woke up last Friday with the stirrings of joy in my heart and the rare distant glimpse of hope. I KICKED OFF!!!!! P had to walk away from me in the Doctors surgery as let’s face it…..I was an embarrassment. That happens. I don’t know how to cope with that anger and frustration. I sat and begged for the injection but they’ve made me wait another week for it. Cheers for that. Another week of feeling suicidal and angry and miserable. It’s really no fun. Plus last week, just to add to the mix, my part time job is soon coming to an end as is everyone’s where I work. But I can’t discuss the details of that on here. It’s all political and I could be here all day.

So anyway, my injection is now this Thursday and it can’t come a second too soon. I have to have them every three months and the two weeks before it, sometimes three weeks, I have meltdowns and I can’t interact well with anyone or anything. I keep my circle very very small as they know how to manage me. As best as they can. I don’t have any tolerance levels and any added stress or anxiety just makes it much much worse.

I had my NHS complaints meeting at The Links last week, I will update on that in my next blog post. I’m just waiting for the CD recording to arrive and then I can give a fair and factual post on it as I don’t feel fair at the moment and that wouldn’t be right to post on it yet.

I have been putting together a Bucket List / Wish List. It’s meant to be a positive thing to do when you feel like karate chopping everything in sight so anyway, if I still have your attention, here it is and no doubt, I will add to it over time as I constantly change my mind. As some of you know, personality traits change rapidly with BPD:

I’ve a Whole in My Bucket List:

(in no particular order, I’m not an order type of person)

1. Visit Ireland

2. Visit Switzerland

3. Visit Paris. (Monet’s Garden, flea markets, Parisian library)

4. Cottage holiday in Cornwall & Lake District

5. Beatles Tour in Liverpool

6. Finish my Degree

7. See the Northern Lights

8. Do the Race of Life for my Nana

9. Lose weight

10. Leave Cardiff

11. Get a tattoo tribute for Bailey Boo

12. Go scuba diving

13. Watch the sunrise from the ocean

14. Be a published writer

15. Get on the first train leaving the station and visit somewhere new

16. Visit the village where Beatrix Potter lived

17. Visit Bath and Stratford Upon Avon

18. Learn to jive dance

19. Visit Gracelands

20. Wear a Kate Spade dress

21. Buy a vintage dress, elope, get married. No planning, no stress, no invites

22. Find peace and forgiveness within myself

23. Be a dog mumma again

ok that’s me done for today, I’m cold and I’m going back to bed to read.

Peace out. SL the fruit loop.

Heartbreak above. Handbags below. Haven’t shared my handbags for a while. Kate Spade and Cath Kidston are my favourite

P.S TOTALLY FORGOT TO SHARE MY FIRST WEIGH IN RESULT AT SLIMMING WORLD.  Lost 6 pounds. Was really pleased as diets aren’t easy to stick to at the best of times, never mind when you are permanently ill.

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